So it's nearly been a year since my last 'review'. (It's funny because I think I'm a professional reviewer!) Unfortunately, I'm very scatterbrained, and write infrequently because, well, I forget to.
With all that said, let me be the first to say that Bulletstorm is everything I've wanted in a First Person Shooter. It causes me to make noises that chubby girls at anime conventions normally make when they see two men make out, and on occasion, I might have had an erection while playing (no homo).
Why would this game illicit such a reaction from a handsome, roguish commissar?
A spot of the old ultraviolence, of course! If you have a modern day dictionary in hand, look up the word "Murder", and you might very well find the definition to be "Bulletstorm". The story is stock, and while initially underwhelming to me, it got a lot better with subtle fourth wall breakage, and even more subtle parody. This game, while serious to a point, is almost a black comedy, everything... and I mean EVERYTHING goes wrong for you in this game. As you achieve something great, you'll crash and burn shortly after... While this may not seem like a shining endorsement, it causes a reaction in me like that of any young, potent, virile male: "FUCK YOU, I AM GOING TO CONTINUE". The frustations of not getting a major achievement illicit a response to finish what you started, something I can't find in most major shooters these days. (I'm looking at you Halo. Just die already.)
With all of that meat, wrap it up in a delicious and hearty taco of comic-style graphics and slather on the verde of potty-mouthed space marines, and you have quite possibly, the first shooter I would replay.
Next week, I'll review Two Worlds II. The prequel gave birth to the beloved ninjaHELL abortion known as "Gostfaceraper420", a character on the multiplayer servers. Let's see if this game lives up to the amount of laughs we had that day.
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